SIDS
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
By: Michelle Wiginton

One year ago today a precious 4 ½ month old baby boy got his angel wings. Maddox Parker Heck passed peacefully we were told, from SIDS. But, it really didn’t matter because the reason does not mask the gaping hole left in your heart when your arms are suddenly empty. Today, his mom is a courageous woman who forges ahead knowing she will see him again.

Three days prior to Maddox’s death, his grandpa (my baby brother) and grandma lost a set of twins that my sister-in-law was carrying. Again, it didn’t matter that two tiny hearts stopped beating on their own. They were loved, anticipated and are now missed, even if we didn’t know their names or ever see their faces.

A year before that, my sweet 18-month old nephew, Blake Thomas Couch, died in the arms of my baby sister and brother-in-law, after countless surgeries and three organ transplants. What a testament to grace and gratitude they had for every day we had with him.

I was there at the hospitals, held our babes one last time and continue to hold my family as God and time heals us all. But, this blog is not about loss, grief and sadness…heavens no, it is about peace, love and celebration of lives well lived…then and now. Having lost my mom only four short months ago, I have learned that a mother is not just the oven your buns get baked in…she is the person who holds you when you’re hurt, sick or sad. However, moms go to heaven too and now I lean solely on the Good Lord and those angels He has sent to earth that I call my friends.

Family is great, but many times they are hurting, too. So, friends have been my strength…praying for me, rolling up their sleeves and helping me, and supporting me when they see the tears threatening to spill. Pam is my Rock of Gibraltar, she listens when I need to talk and she never says anything unless it is wise and true. Kim makes me laugh and is the only person I would want to get thrown in jail with. Nina makes me look pretty, even when I don’t feel it on the inside. Sandra is my earthly angel, who stays close to God and near to me at the same time. Shanda, who calls me Mom #2, loves me without question, reservation or hesitation.

I could go on…and on…and on. I am blessed. Our family is blessed. We are more compassionate, understanding and encouraging than ever before. We’ve been there…although we would never have chosen to “go there.” I know how to help others because I know what helped us when we needed it. Tragedy strikes every family at one time or another, but how you deal with it is what makes you bitter or better.

Thankfully, our family has chosen to let go of the pain, the hurt, the loss and the grief…and grab onto the best that life has to offer. And there is so much to be thankful for! We are at peace that God’s plan is perfect, even if it is not what we would have chosen for ourselves or our loved ones. We love with abandon because that is a gift that never runs out, you can never have too much of and that you will never regret giving away. We celebrate each day because every day is worth living to the fullest.

I visit more and work less. I try to listen more and talk less. I share hugs with anyone I think might need it…and even with those who don’t. I laugh more and look for more reasons to laugh. I am a deeper person who uses quiet time to remember and reflect. I smile more because I know others are hurting and, sometimes, a smile is all someone needs to clear away the clouds in their day. I share more because any burden shared becomes lighter and every lesson learned causes others to become wiser and kinder people.

 Maddox:      Blake:

 

Comments

You are such a courageous woman, even moreso for sharing your ordeal with others. It is so hard with everything going on to just stop and smell the roses. Your situation shows that every earthly moment that we are given is truly on loan and we must appreciate them. I respect your resolve and strength. My heart and love goes out to you and your family and my prayers are with you and yours.

Gemi, Sunday, January 24, 2010

Reply

Add New Comment