Dear Michelle: My wife and I have always been an affectionate couple, but our children are now in school and I worry about how they might be affected by our hugging and kissing. Should we stop expressing our affection in front of them or is it okay to show them our love for one another, much like we express our love for them? ~To PDA or Not to PDA

Dear To PDA or Not to PDA: Ah, the age old question of Public Displays of Affection...of which I am a firm believer (when appropriate). PDAs, like everything else, have a time and a place in your life. I think it is important for a child to learn how to express affection for other people because there are too many bad examples bombarding them every day and they will learn from someone, if not from you.

My parents were split—one set of parents never touched, hugged or kissed and the other set showed me more than I ever wanted or needed to see. Might I suggest a well-balanced example, where kind words, holding hands, kisses good-bye and supportive hugs are all part of your every day life. Expressing emotion and affection is not a dirty or shameful thing; it is a celebration of two hearts and lives that are romantically committed to a life together.

There is a time and a place for intimate interaction, but there is also a time and a place for romantic gestures toward your spouse. You don’t have to bring in a big, brass band to announce, “Mom and Dad Are Now Going to Hold Hands!” or “We Are Now Going to Kiss Good-bye”. I feel if you make a big deal about affection or make others uncomfortable, you defeat the purpose of natural, expressions of affection. You are not putting on a Broadway play, you are giving your wife (or husband) a big hug for making dinner AND cleaning up the kitchen.

Romance should never be the rope in a tug-of-war struggle or an inappropriate way to embarrass your kids. My son still kisses me good-bye (even in front of his friends) and tells me he loves me...every day! I still hug him, tell him I’m so proud of him, hide notes and send emails telling him I love him and am proud of him, but I also do these things for my husband. If you have to force your affections or are uncomfortable expressing your feelings in front of others, then such touchy-feely emotions might not be for you. But, if you enjoy your current relationship and its expression, let your children know...what a wonderful, comforting and empowering example for your children.

Kids are in tune to you more than you know. When you have a fight, they know it. When you have a wonderfully, romantic evening, they know it. How? Because of how you act toward your spouse. Kind affection tells your kids, “Everything’s all right with mom and dad”. Kids have so much thrown at them and worrying about their parents should not be an added issue for them to deal with. Tell and show your family you love them. Don’t embarrass or force them to express themselves, it will come naturally to them and they will find their own comfort zone. Never underestimate the power of a hug!

Below is my hubby's latest expression of love...this is me on most weekends! Looking for bargains and telling others about the blessings of JBF!