Working Mom Chooses PBJ Sandwiches over Awards by Autumn Lew

We won't ever see that headline, will we? If the daily choices we made were published and we somehow could see our lives in headlines, I wonder how that would look and what it would it change...

For me, I found myself in an odd place last week. I went to a gathering of folks from my profession, a set of like-minded peers...somewhat. My "real job" is graphic design/branding/marketing (I design JBF marketing materials...did I mention that?). But as a designer who works independently, I find myself silo-ed off into my own world. And since having my two girls, I REALLY feel out of touch! Wow. How much I now DON'T know about the software alone fills many books indeed. I used to have this killer instinct that drove me to stay on the front lines and go after "the big one"--whatever that means. But now, I don't feel so much "killer" as "cuddler" and my drive is more like a neutral gear than anything else. Can I admit that and still be seen as employable?

But really...

When did that happen? Could it be that perhaps the things that matter to me most no longer spin in orbit around the graphic design world? As I listened to these peers speak last week, I found myself fluttering between feeling insanely out of touch and yet oddly curious. I used to care about these things! I used to be involved. I used to live and breath this stuff. My world is no longer quite so large...or could it be that my world is actually much bigger? Now I choose to be where I can walk my kids come home from school instead of in some impressive downtown office. I care more about washing Patrick the Stuffed Dog and Flower Blankie than I do about the latest fonts to hit the scene. Does that mean I'm not longer cutting edge?

I realized, after a day or two of feeling like a lost cause and talentless geek, that in the things that really DO matter most, I am in touch. In the lives of my family, I am a rock star. And isn't that the beauty of family? To my kids, I am an Award Winner! So as I pause to wonder if I am truly good at my profession...I think "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." (I'll leave that for my clients to decide). But perhaps I am reminding myself that in the things that really mean the most to this working mom's heart, I have chosen wisely. I choose the PBJ sandwiches.

Me and the Fam in February...(Left to Right) Greg, Autumn, Ellyn and Allie. Patrick and Flower Blankie not pictured.